neverendingmemories's Blog

Ego Boost?

Many times when I look back at my past and my childhood I exam every little negative that I can find.  But a simple little sentence made me, for at least a second, re-exam myself.

I know I had it rough.  I remember days without food, water if we were lucky, electricity was the only constant because it powered the TV.  I have blamed that part of my little world on many of the choices and almost all of the mistake that I have made.  

Maybe it is about time that I start blaming my tragic youth on the success that I am seeing now!  To look in the refrigerator and see about 15 options for dinner; electric, water, cable, house payment all paid a week or more early.  The ability to be a stay at home mother of my three little ones insuring they aren't "latch key" kids!

The person was right!  I have surpassed my past and am helping to prevent it from happening to another generation.  I do believe in anyone and openly support the positive growth of people!

Cause of Autism ... REALLY

I normally avoid giving away to much personal identity on here, but after the "news" from Denmark I am LIVID! 

All of the time and energy and money that is being put into finding the cause of Autism and ASD really should be spent finding ways of helping these kids manage and understand their abilities and deficiencies!

Now I normally don't get into this argument but when Denmark started saying that 1%-3% of Autism may be in some way connected to the Flu, I feel it is time to start speaking up! 

For all we know Autism could be a form of human evolution!  There is no "set" cause.  Everyone is looking for a reason for the "not normal" kid!  Some kids could of made Bill Gates' jaw hit the floor if he saw them working with programming and computers at Elementary school ages.  Other kids would be classified as the ultimate "nerd" if it wasn't for the lack of filter or unpredictable behavior/mood and possible social issues. I really get tired of the possible causes, I don't know what truly causes Autism/ASD, hell no one does!

Every child/person with any form of ASD has their niche!  People just need to take the time, energy and money figuring out the niche and trying to expand it and encourage it!  

All that is REALLY IMPORTANT is that the parents get the assistance they need to understand and encourage their child to be the best in what they are good at!

I am NOT interested in what anyone feels could be the cause of it, because the cause is not important.  

Quiet and calm is not always good!

Things have become very crazy, loud and eventful.  Between the kids and husband something is always happening.  To my surprise this unplanned insanity of a life is actually bringing my mood up and making me see how lucky I am!

9/14/2012 I wont hurt you or your ugly dog!

 While getting some things done I just happened to remember an event involving him.

I was young, maybe 9 or 10, He was sitting at the large dinning room table just outside of my bedroom door.  The table was covered with debris from weeks or even months back.  Almost out of no where I hear his stumbling shriek "I need a refill!"  The demand and annoyance in his voice made me jump off my bed, which was actually an old torn up fake leather couch, and quickly hurry out the door to where he was. He hands me his glass and demanded his drink and ice.  Now just so you know,  his drink was pure grain alcohol, completely clear but the odor itself was almost intoxicating.  There was no light coming through the beautiful windows so I am assuming this was well after 9:00pm and since my mother wasn't the one jumping to his demands it was most likely Summer Break.
As I am walking through the narrowly cleared path in the dinning room toward the kitchen, with my little mutt dog following, he says "Don't worry I would never hurt you or your ugly dog".  The tone in his voice was pure evil with a hint of sarcasm and laughter.  I believe that just his tone scared my dog as much if not more than it did me me!

9/13/2012 Dishes

Today was an interesting flashback.  I have had it a few times before, but the details seemed more pronounced and yet dark.

While attempting to wash a plate I glanced out the kitchen window.  You must understand that right outside my window is a half dead tree.  Behind that is a paved parking lot that can be be seen because of the height of our house.  Then it is just woods. This is very similar to where I spent many horrifying and unbelievable days.

Back to the flashback of the day:

Sudden my mind throw up an image, unguarded and unconstrained image of myself in this full length, flower patterned, ruffly, little dress that would make most think of church clothes from the 80's.  I had a plate in my hand and could feel the warm water running over it.  I was looking out of the window in what seemed to be a glazed stare.  My eyes seemed, for that second, to be tear filled and yet dry at the same time.
I quickly placed the plate in the dish drainer, an old ugly tan or filthy white thing sitting on the counter next to the sink.  At the exact second I do that I feel a rough and almost stone hard hand grab my arm.

That's were this one ends. In reality, the moment I felt the hand I screeched and dropped the plate out of my hand. Thankfully it was plastic and didn't break when it hit the floor.

Next post is completely up to when my memory hands it to me!

1-5 of 5 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Ego Boost?, posted November 13th, 2012
Cause of Autism ... REALLY, posted November 12th, 2012
Quiet and calm is not always good!, posted November 8th, 2012
9/14/2012 I wont hurt you or your ugly dog!, posted September 14th, 2012
9/13/2012 Dishes, posted September 13th, 2012

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